When I was 14 years old I joined a band with some other kids from my local area back home in Ireland. We played mostly covers from classic rock and grunge bands like AC/DC, Pearl Jam, Black Sabbath & The Ramones, with a few ‘original’ songs thrown in from time to time. We weren’t the greatest musical outfit to grace such very prestigious venues as the Greystones Scouts Den or the Gorey Theatre (if you’re Irish you’ll get the sarcasm ;) but that really didn’t matter because in our minds we were rockstars just for a second and we all loved every second that we were on stage.
However the band meant more to me than just some fun, jamming in our rhythm guitarists back room and occasionally bickering over our creative differences, to me it meant friendship, acceptance and a confidence I never knew I could possess. I had been through a pretty rough time when the guys asked me to join the band and I didn’t think I would ever feel strong enough to respect or love myself. I didn’t think I was good enough for anything to be honest. But then I started singing with the band, nervous at first but growing in confidence with every ‘gig’ or practice we held. Through singing the songs that I loved or had written myself, feeling the power of music played by friends behind me as I stood in front of crowds (albeit very small ones!) of friends and family who had come to support me I realised I really did have worth, I was good enough, and I was loved. Slowly but surely, I began to love myself too.
Playing in this little local band with friends and engrossing myself in the music I loved changed my life for the better. Still to this day whenever I am struggling or feeling low I think about performing in the band and the confidence it gave me and I know that everything will be alright. Through performance and the support of my friends I battled my depression and anxiety, and I know now that I am stronger than I ever could have been without that experience. This is why I wrote Battle with that time of my life in mind, to tell the simple story of a girl who found strength in music and hope that other young women who suffer with depression will be inspired to find their own way of realising their worth and draw strength from even their most difficult experiences.